*squeak* (ms_mixtape) wrote in song_book,
*squeak*
ms_mixtape
song_book

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ladies and gentlemen...HEDWIG!

song: midnight radio
artist: hedwig and the angry inch

last spring my life took some crazy turns and any faith in finding happiness i had was lost. i became this intensely moody, dark bitch...i stopped wanting to live. i literally didn't get out of bed to do anything. i stopped eating, drinking, thinking...all i did was lie in bed and listen to music and wait to die. i tried killing myself a few times. i was miserable. nothing could make me feel better. on my birthday (the 27th of april) i went to san francisco, to see hedwig and the angry inch live. it was the first time i'd gotten out of bed in almost a month, and i was really shaky and scared and i felt like an egg without a shell.
my friend fritz went with me to the show. he held my hand on the car ride up, and we talked and shared music and he calmed me down. he made me feel safe.
the show was great. glitter and glam and attitude. there's no way to describe the rush of being there.
to say the least, it was an intense change from my recent lifestyle.
when "midnight radio" came on, my reaction was almost immediate. i felt like i had lost the world, and that i was all alone in my misery, and i was feeling so nihilistic...but looking at fritz and hearing that song...i realized there were people that cared and that i wasn't alone and i cried and cried and held up my hands and sang at the top of my lungs.
it was one of the happiest moments of my life, and this song reminds me of that whenever i'm feeling alone, like dying or curling up in my room and never coming out.

Rain falls hard
Burns dry
A dream
Or a song
That hits you so hard
Filling you up
And suddenly gone

Breathe feel love
Give free
Know in your soul
Like your blood knows the way
From your heart to your brain
Knows that you're whole

And you're shining
Like the brightest star
A transmission
On the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Like a 45
Ballerina
Dancing to your rock and roll]

Here's to Patti
And Tina
And Yoko
Aretha
And Nona
And Nico
And me
And all the strange rock and rollers
You know you're doing all right
So hold on to each other
You gotta hold on tonight

And you're shining
Like the brightest star
A transmission
On the midnight radio
And you're spinning
Your new 45s
For the misfits and the losers
Yeah, you know you're rock and rollers
Spinning to your rock and roll

Lift up your hands
Lift up your hands
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